Hi internets, both new & old! Welcome to my corner of the bloggy plant! My TTC & Adoption timelines are in the left-hand sidebar, but the super short version is BigTex and I have been together for almost 9 years, married almost 7 years and we've been working on a family since June of 2006. After our first failed IVF back in 2008, we decided to head down the domestic adoption road, and after IVF #2 and #3 failed at the end of '08 and in 2009, we were full speed ahead. We started our homestudy process March 27, 2009, activated with our agency on July 29, 2009 and on January 14, 2010 WE WERE MATCHED with EP (expectant parents) due March 4th. Over the moon doesn't begin to describe our current emotional state! We are now actively stressing out over the lengthy list of things to do before our Baby Tulip or Baby Turtle arrives.
The biggest thing in my head and on my heart right now is that we are going to be meeting the EP on Tuesday. At least mom. And I am so excited but I am also incredibly unsure of me at this point. Will she like us? Will she hate us and change her mind? Is she happy? Is she going to be relieved after meeting us? What do I wear? Do I bring anything? What questions will she ask us? What should we talk about? What should we not say? There are a million of these running around in my head--hence the post at 5:30AM!
I will be chatting with our SW today to hopefully walk through what to expect and how to prep ourselves. I am sure she will say 'just be yourselves' but that is so much easier said than done. We are praying that God's hand continue to guide this process because we know that it can all still change. Tuesday seems like a long ways off, but I know it will be here in a blink.
My heart is very, very full right now. Even if nothing is certain.
19 comments:
Visiting from ICLW - by way of Rain :)
I can only imagine the emotions running through you as you prepare to meet your EPs. Hopefully your nerves will settle and all will come naturally once you all meet. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Your match was part of my good news this week! I am praying for your meeting.
You will do great and they are going to love you! Don't worry! Once you meet, it will all come naturally. The conversation will flow. Best of luck and I am so excited for you!!
I remember our first meeting and I remember how nervous we both were as well! Just remember they will be just as nervous as you guys are!!! And yes, easier said than done, but seriously just be yourselves!!!! In our meeting we talked about ourselves (how we met, what we did, things we liked to do, that kind of stuff) and then she talked about herself, as much as she wanted to tell us and then she could ask us questions if she had any. Believe it or not after the first 5 minutes of getting started the conversation just flows and your SW is there to help with topics. You guys will be great!!!
I hope the meeting goes well!!!
ICLW
http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/
OMG I got chills reading this! What a great way for 2010 to start for you. Congrats!
Adoption is such an amazing and brave choice. I am adopted and have always known that would be something I would do one day. We had started the process a while ago after several years of infertility but I got pregnant and that went on the back burner. This year, we are going to start the journey again.
I am sure that the meeting will go just fine. Just be yourself and what will happen...will happen. I have my fingers crossed for you. Keep up the positive attitude!
Congrats on being matched. I hope the meeting goes well. I would say just relax but if it was me I would be a bubbling bundle of nerves. :-)
ICLW
Oh, congratulations on the match. That's fantastic news.
Don't worry about the meeting (I know, easier said than done). I bet you'll be amazed at how smoothly it all goes on the day.
I remember how nervous we were preparing to meet Baby Bonsai's birthmom for the first time (just 4 days before he was born, eek!) I got some really good tips from other adoptive parents at our agency.
- let her know that you are nervous--I'm sure she will be, too! DH actually said "Obviously we've never done this before and we don't know exactly what to say." I think that helped everyone feel at ease since we all recognized we weren't going to be perfect.
- bring a small photo album that she can look through so you can tell her about the pictures and through them, you/your life. (15-10 pics) This was good for giving us something to do together and served as a nice conversation starter. She had seen some of our pics in our letter to birthmothers so we brought different ones. We brought the album back home but if she'd wanted to keep it that would've been fine too.
- ask her about herself, what she likes to do, how she's feeling--try to find points of commonality
- ask about her hopes and dreams for her baby. This is a good chance to talk about what you hope for a baby, too!
- remember to ask her if she has any questions for you--if there's anything she's held back this can be a good opening for her
I'm sure you'll do great! Our first meeting with Bonsai's birthmom included her mom and dad too, and we all just hit it off right away and ended up talking about serious subjects like religion and race as well as just laughing and chatting for hours. The above ideas are helpful if conversation is slow to get going but once it takes off, just go with it like you would with any new friend or relative. Good luck!
ICLW - Oh, I know those feelings. As someone told me once, you are good enough, just as you are. The birthparents are probably just as nervous as you are.
You're matched?! How incredibly exciting!!!!! I'm sure the B-mom will love you just fine!
ICLW
BEST BEST wishes for your meeting with the expectant mom!!! This is my first time at your blog and I am so excited for you upon reading your post! I love that you call the baby turtle or tulip and I can't wait to follow your journey!
Congrats on your match! Glad I found you through ICLW, as we are just starting our adoption process.
Congratulations on your upcoming baby!!
Christina
iclw
How exciting. You will do just great and I too think it will all just come to you when you meet with EM. I look forward to reading more about your amazing journey to parenthood, sounds like such a nice road you're on. Happy ICLW.
Wow... I haven't stopped by in a while and look at what I miss. Yay for being matched!! I hope that the meeting goes well and that you will come away from it feeling peace and reassurance.
How exciting to be finally matched!! I can't wait to come back and visit your blog on Tuesday to see how things went. Good luck!
Happy ICLW
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