Really, what do I do with it. It has been in this little basket on my fridge since transfer day, and since we all know how that worked out, I am at a loss as to what to do with it. At first I thought they were the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Probably because they were the first and only dividing embryos I had ever seen. Now they just look like busted embryos. Not at all like all the ones I see on Dr. Google as shining examples of Grade AA baby-makers. I'm struggling though, because throwing them out seems cruel--as if some how these three little fragmented blobbules could say, "Hey! We're not garbage!" Oh, I beg to differ.
But really, as we know in the IF world, for just a tiny, tiny moment, these three ugly blobs were my future children. And I loved them, uneven cells, excessive fragmentation, celluar gunk and all. So what do I do?
6 comments:
Hide it somewhere where you won't find it for about five years. Hopefully by that time you will have a child and it will just be a benign memory.
Now that you've put it on your blog, it's there for when you need it. So the hard copy becomes less important -- hiding it is good, but if you don't like having it in the house you can get rid of it and still refer to this post if you want/need to see them again.
they *are* beautiful, they are yours.
i keep pictures of my transferred embryos in the filing cabinet with all of my other fertility records. i don't feel compelled to look at them, but like you, i don't really want to throw them out, it doesn't feel right to me.
Wow, that is a dilemma. I would feel tender about them, too. I agree with Cassandra that now that they're on the blog you have them here to look at if you need to. You could save the picture and scrapbook it some day if you end up feeling better about it once you have children.
I agree. Hide it. Out of the way place. May not have turned out the way you hoped, but precious just the same. One step on the road to a healthy child(ren).
I, too, am glad you've included the picture here on your blog. Like Bunny said, they are beautiful and they definitely deserve a place in your story. It's amazing how such tiny tiny things can bring us great hope and joy or break our hearts. I'm wishing you all the best for cycle #3.
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