(Said with incredible gratitude for all the support you guys are giving us, so mostly in jest--haha!)
Request...can everyone please STOP telling me that we're "so close!" and that the big day is "almost here!" 'Cause it sure feels like time has nearly reached a complete halt. It's like when I've been at mile 9 of a half marathon and had people cheering me on by saying "you're almost there! JUST 4 MORE MILES!" Do you get how that sounds to the person actually running the race? Almost there does not equal four more miles. Almost there means I can see the finish line and in a mere matter of moments I will get to stop running, which is all I want to do at mile 9 anyways. So let's leave almost there to the five minutes before I pull in my driveway with my new daughter. Almost there in my mind is not here, where we are right at this moment.
Because really, we're about to climb the biggest mountain of this entire journey when EM goes to the hospital. The hardest part for everyone is what is still to come. We pray for strength, for peace, for Tulip and EM and their health, for EM & ED that they continue to have comfort and confidence in their choices up to this point. We have little to no idea what to expect and are trusting with every ounce of our beings that God's hand continues to keep us on our feet. We are living each day with enourmous amounts of excitement, joy, anxiety, and a good dose of sheer-terror on my part.
While it may seem to the world that we are almost there...this race is far from over. Instead, could everyone cheer "You can do it--look how far you've come!" Then at least I wouldn't want to just keel over right here and stop running because I am afraid of how much further I have go.
8 comments:
**handing you some gatorade**
((pats on back))
Haha, I'm must apologize because I think I say that in every comment! It's probably like fertile people telling IFers to just relax. :) Okay, so putting out my pom-poms -- KEEP IT UP! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU ARE DOING AWESOME! {hugs} :)
I imagine this must be an exciting yet very scary stage. Being so close to EM delivering your baby, having that baby be so close you can practically feel it, yet having no concrete assurances something won't change it...wow, talk about a tightrope of emotions.
Wishing you peace of mind and a short period until you hold your baby in your arms.
~ICLW
Sending you hope and blessings and peace and a lot of strength for this hardest part of the journey. I hope that through it all you can have enduring faith and believe in yourselves - because we do!
its a hard place to be and you can for sure do it!!!sounds like you are way more prepared than I was! most of what happen blind sided me- things you have mentioned in your post truely sound like you have it together! good luck over the next few days--- hang on! its a wild ride... prayers for ya!
I completely understand what you are saying...I so often pray to be in a match, but in reality, there is oh so much more that has to happen.
Regardless, it is a step moving in the right direction!
You're so right--you and your EM have the whole hospital experience ahead of you, which is the point when she we really make her decision to proceed with her adoption plan. I do know the feeling, being excited but also having absolutely no idea what's going to happen, and knowing you can't control that situation--I guess that's a reason to be glad we only knew our son's birthmom for 4 days before he was born, so we didn't have as much time at the top of the rollercoaster dropoff, waiting for the plunge. Wishing you peace, calm, and patience as the big day approaches!
I know exactly what you mean! Just came across your blog today... those last few days of waiting ARE an eternity. I can remember thinking I just wanted my daughter to be OUT and BE MINE!! It was torcher - waiting. Just focus on TODAY & getting through it.
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