Today marks 3 weeks. While I admit to being unfocused every hour of every day, distracted from anything actually productive, and wishing I could just go to sleep and wake up when it was our turn, I think I am coming around. I am not as neurotic as I was feeling a week ago, but out-of-body disassociation probably has something to do with that.
Perspective. My mom just randomly mentioned this when I spoke to her Monday. We were talking about the great weekend we'd had with our friends, and we were making plans to attend a football game with my parents in September for the local university team. I said we (Dh & I) were in, because who knew what would happen between now and then and I am refusing to stop planning my life because some baby might just show up one day. She said she was glad to hear that, because we had to keep this all in perspective. We've done all we can do and now we just have to live our lives and when we get a call/match/baby, we can celebrate. Ultimately, we are going to have a baby. We don't need to worry--it is already in motion.
3 weeks is not even a full cycle. We did 5 months of clo.mid, 2 rounds of IUI, and 3 IVFs. We waited countless cycles in between treatment over the course of 2-plus years. And we did all that hoping we'd end up with a pregnancy, not a baby, but a pregnancy. There are women out there who do, go through, suffer, have more treatment than we did in hopes of a pregnancy that will then bring them a baby. I am in awe of their strength and courage, their willingness to go after what they want, in spite of not knowing how or when.
We may not know how or when but we do know we're getting a baby. And it's only been 3 weeks. I think I'm finally getting some perspective, people.
2 comments:
very interesting and very true.. it's wonderful to think that the wheels are in motion!! ack! i can't wait to be waiting too! i hope your wait is short and fast! :)
I feel your pain...and you're right, it's all about perspective. Hang in there! :)
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