First...the comments on my last post have been heartfelt and honest. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on what I consider a very difficult scenario. There was no catalyst for the question, just that I have been trying to work through what my life is like now as an adoptive mom and how that impacts what is, or was, my fertility. And for the record, I really believe that as different the two couples are, they are are also the same. I think that grief is grief, and it can arrive and stick around in many forms. One is not more painful than the other because neither can experience both in this example. So both couples have hurt, but both couples also have joy. That is where I am in my life right now--we have had so much sadness and hurt on our journey to parenthood, it has been almost overwhelming to have so much happiness and joy of late. Thank you again for your candidness.
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This weekend was Tulip's big "Welcome to the World" party & her baptism into God's kingdom. We have been very busy!!! I will get caught up on ICLW today, and post later about the fun events of the past few days.
5 comments:
I missed the last post somehow, but I agree that grief is grief, pain is pain. Sometimes I feel that my series of BFNs is a more private pain and harder for people to support, but then I remember my miscarriage from way back when and that was private and hard for people to support too. *sigh*
Tulip is going to have a big weekend! I couldn't even respond to your last post as I simply couldn't put the thoughts coherently together. :) Hope you have a great week!
After having run the gamut of IVF treatments, and then adoption, I can speak to the fact that there was a great deal of grief involved in never being able to have biological children. I'd say that losing an actual child would be worse, but grief is grief. I don't believe there is much merit in comparisons. There is also a great deal of joy and healing that can happen through loving an adopted child. I consider myself a very fortunate woman.
Your question from your previous post is a good one. I think that pain is pain, and it is impossible to quantify. The road leading through the pain may be different, but we all have to walk it. What is so great about this community is that no matter the road we walk, we know we aren't alone.
I haven't been by in a while, and I am so happy to see that you have your little Tulip. Welcome to the world (and to the Kingdom) Little One!
Your question from your previous post is a good one. I think that pain is pain, and it is impossible to quantify. The road leading through the pain may be different, but we all have to walk it. What is so great about this community is that no matter the road we walk, we know we aren't alone.
I haven't been by in a while, and I am so happy to see that you have your little Tulip. Welcome to the world (and to the Kingdom) Little One!
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