My head hurts.
My heart hurts more.
Today has been hard for no other reason than I finally allowed myself to say it out loud--I am sad. I am sad that I have SO much love to give my child and no child to give it to. I am sad that it just didn't work out for us like so many others. I am sad that I don't seem to have enough patience, or trust, in the process to be satisfied that we will have a family one day. I am sad that I wake up, go to work, clean my house, watch t.v., make food, go to bed and get up the next day and do it all over again. It doesn't seem to carry much meaning these days.
I am sad that DH can see it and feel it in me--and I can tell he doesn't know what to do about it. I am sad that I have a crib and a carseat and other baby stuff in a room with no baby because our SW told us to get ready, even though I wanted to wait. I am sad for thinking that maybe there is something wrong with our profile, or that because we didn't take that first match, no one is looking at us. I am sad that I am even having those thoughts.
My head hurts, but my heart is hurting more right now. Taking a break--hope to be back soon.
8 comments:
:( I think we all hit that 'sad' stage...for me, it comes and goes. I can be okay for months on end...and then BAM...it hits. May you find comfort in the fact that you are not the only one with sadness.
At our house, I hit the sad stage much more than my husband...so know that this is normal too.
I'm so sorry :-(
Taking a break can be a hard thing but a good thing to and I hope it gives you the breather than you need...
xxx
I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, but I hope everything changes for you soon.
Just as KT said, it does come and go. Keep the faith and I'll be praying for you.
{Hugs} you are very much allowed to feel sad
I'm so sorry -I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better! Praying that the sadness passes soon and the waiting gets easier. Look after yourself :-) ((hugs))
I'm so sorry. A break will probably be good for you to regroup and feel refreshed. Hang in there! :)
Hugs to you.
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