Confession

I must confess that I have been saying the words, going through the motions, keeping a smile on my face, a chipper tone in my voice.

All the while, I'm having a hard time letting go. In BP's words, it's festering. Gross, right? Wait till you hear the definition (credit to Merriams):
1: to generate pus
2: putrefy, rot
3a: to cause increasing poisoning, irritation, or bitterness : rankle
3b: to undergo or exist in a state of progressive deterioration
transitive verb : to make inflamed or corrupt

I couldn't put my finger on it...why I was struggling so much with my focus, with having peace in my heart recently. But now I see. Satan is trying to set up shop--he sensed my anxiety, my fear in the process, my impatience. And now, he has been doing his best to pull me down, to undergo a state of progressive deterioration--to inflame my heart and corrupt my spirit.

That is exactly it.

Guess what, Satan--you can find somewhere else to fester, because I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU to stay one more minute. I seek peace and the Holy Spirit, and you got nothin' on Him.