Even though we are in different family-building places, our islands must be connected in some way, shape or form. Kinda like the alternate time spaces on Lost. Anyway, Sprogblogger writes today about the sense that she's being left behind as all the other IFers head off to Preggo-land. I too am feeling a bit left behind as the other PAPers (pre-adoptive parents) match up with their expectant families or even welcome their new additions overnight. Hence some of my silence.
I am thrilled for the other PAPers. Do not mistake my self-pity for envy, as I do not wish they weren't being matched or placed. Jealousy, maybe. But, it's not easy all the same.
BigTex has been so calm, so confident as we wait. While I always clarify "our baby" with "if we ever get one, which I am not convinced will be anytime soon", he still feels that "baby" will be here sooner rather than later. Enough that he decided it was better if we didn't make travel plans for Thanksgiving to go back to Texas. Enough that he's mentioned how we can have Christmas at our house, since there might be a baby. I am amazed at his conviction--and I wish I had even a small amount of his strength.
I had a ticker awhile back...but I had to take it down. It was too depressing to me to see how slowly the time was moving, and it made me think of how long we might have to wait every time I looked at it. But don't let me kid you, I know that we have been waiting 9w6d. And I know very well that this is just a drop in the bucket for most PAPers. It still feels like eons.
In other news, work is moving along. I actually think I might have finally made some mark, some impact. Not holding my breath (as anyone in sales knows...) as it could change overnight. And we have a getaway planned for this coming weekend--one of my friends from college is getting married and it is going to be a blast to see everyone. This will be a much-needed change of scenery for us. Well, me. And I'm meeting with my new counselor tomorrow, so I'll let you know how that goes. Definitely some stuff to work through on my end.
Till there's more, I'll be waiting over here on my island. Say hi as you pass through!
4 comments:
Our islands will always be connected, no matter where we are on our journey. Loving thoughts sent your way.
It will get better....
It is strange how the dynamics change as people finally get what they want whether it be pregnant or a placement. Yet at the heart of it, they're still connected (like the Lost reference).
One of the things I always love about your blog is your certainty that you will have an addition to your family. But I think it's too difficult for us mere mortals to maintain constant hope. I believe that's why we have partners, like BigTex, who can help remind us of that when our hope wavers.
Take care of yourself and have a great time this weekend.
Nicole - just saying hi. I too am stranded on my own island and watching everyone else pass me by. Thinking of you. Good to read your updates.
Mo
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