Luck o' the Irish

Tonight's the night...trigger is set for 9:30PM for a Friday morning retrieval. Transfer will be Monday (day 3). We finally made it, (insert massive sigh of relief).

As I've bored everyone this week with my slow and steady progress, the final word is 3 @ 18, 3 around 15, and like 10 more between 10 & 13. It would appear we are on track for about 3-5 mature eggs based on my E2. Lining was 9.4 this morning (the temp housing appears to be shaping up nicely, which is the best news of this whole thing). Thanks for all the well wishes and quality chants...if you could hang in there a couple more days, I'd really appreciate it. I know it seems interminable. Here was today's fun pair:

In case you can't tell, I'm channeling the luck o'the Irish today with Paddy--

It might be a bit early, but I figure there isn't any harm in at least letting him know that even us Germans could use his help!

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I'm working very hard to follow Nurse Good Vibes advice and remain as zen as possible. I am quite hopeful. I believe we are going to have success. It feels really good this time. Until I start thinking about it.

It's been a bit of a battle each day to make sure I stay in my zen place--as if the universe knows this, I keep getting messages that remind me to just step back and let go. I have been wound so tight with much of this IF stuff (as we all can be at times), it has taken physical messages in front of my face to keep bringing me back. It started when I read the verse (Habakkuk 2:3) on Heart Cries blog about how God will bring His plan to fruition in His time, how it will not be late by a single day. The next was around V-day, when I was waiting for my AF to start so I could go in for my baseline and get this cycle moving. I was driving past my church and noticed the phrase on the sign. [This "phrase" changes weekly, like many churches have on their signs] It said "God's timing is perfect." Well, when AF was a day later than I had planned, I started repeating this and the Hab. 2:3 verse to myself. Over and over again. On Monday, I drove by our church again and this week's phrase says "Trust in God's timing." Now, neither of these weekly phrases had to do with the messages that were presented during service the past couple of weeks, so I took it as a super-duper in-my-face hint at what I needed to be praying for and asking God to do while we went through this cycle. Then, while I was doing my ICLW yesterday, I came across this prayer at the top of Thinking Positively's blog: "Lord please allow me to rejoice in your perfect timing - especially when I don't understand it."

As we have plodded along this cycle, this has been the theme. It is NOT my timing, NOT in my control. Whether you are spiritual, religious or far from the two, the one thing that I know I am coming to terms with is that no matter how much I plan, chart, schedule, or monitor my life...it is in this one thing that I cannot. I have to let it go. Each day I have had to remind myself of this. And while it does bring some peace, it also raises many questions. I'm guessing I won't find the answers to these questions right now, and in fact, I'm trying to set them aside. It isn't going to help my beautifully mature follies create gorgeously sticky embabies. So for now, I'm going to keep praying that even when I get antsy, even when I don't understand, that God will help me to know His timing is perfect, help me to trust in it, and help me to stay in that zen place that will continue to seek His guidance instead of trying to control it on my own. There will be plenty of time for asking the whys, the why mes, the what ifs some other time. And I am hopeful that I will never have to ask or post about any of them here ever again!