While having dinner with some good friends last night, I was told I should consider registering and being prepared to outfit our home for our little one-to-come. See, my friend is 31 weeks with her first so we were talking about all the things she still needs and what she would still like to get. Then she told me I should register. And even start buying stuff. For some reason, this hit me like a ton of bricks. Because really, I don't or didn't intend to do a whole lot until we got our first "call." Whether or not it was "the one", it would finally then be okay to let out the collective breath we've been holding for the past three years and start getting baby stuff. Buying baby stuff before that makes me feel, well, like a fraud.
Our friends, like us, have also long considered adoption as ways to grow our families. They have been very supportive of us and I am now very excited to be around for them and for the newest member of their family. I just don't know if I have the right to do all the things that real expecting moms do before they bring home a baby. Even if they get 9 months to prepare and I could have as little as 24 hours. It feels a bit like I'm doing something wrong unless I too know I have a baby on the way.
I'm going to try to get over it--in the meantime, we will buy a car seat...just in case.
2 comments:
I feel like a fraud too. Like I can't get excited or think about anything farther away than my next u/s. I really hate that we feel this way. I think we both need to ignore that "bitch" inside our head who tells us we can't be excited. Screw it, Nicole. Disappointment can happen to anyone. I think you should register for whatever you want. There is nothing wrong with that! And a car seat is a must. :)
Hell, I bought a book on expecting twins knowing that I could lose one by the next u/s. What can I do though? Live like the next shoe is going to drop? You can't either...even though we've trained ourselves to do that.
Thinking of you.
I felt the same way! Then, I started thinking about it differently...the last thing I want to do when we get "the call" is frantically round stuff up. I've had lots of fun getting a nursery together, and it actually made me feel better. I kind of felt normal for a while. I also am sleeping better at night knowing that I won't have to freak out at the last minute. Also, I've had to order stuff b/c it seems like they don't have anything in stock around here. Everybody's different but don't let anybody let you feel weird. I think that it actually helped everybody around me too...they didn't have to walk on eggshells and could help out. This post may have been all in vain, and you have started getting stuff together; I haven't read that far yet. :)
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