Make it all count

I'm sitting in a hotel room with my parents, minus DH, having just spent the day with my aunt and cousins in Lancaster, PA. My wonderful uncle--whom I did not get to enjoy nearly enough in my lifetime--passed away in November, three weeks to the day of his terminal cancer diagnosis. There was no funeral or memorial at the time of his passing due to the holidays and the sheer magnitude of the whole thing for my aunt.

Today, we celebrated his life with nearly 200 people. He had touched each person in that room with his smile, his laughter, his calm nature. He was gentle, yet determined; loving, supportive, joyful. He worked so hard for so many years to give his family all that they ever needed. He gave to those less fortunate, shared what he had with others who might be in need, and taught many around him to do the same. In the days before he passed, he sat with his young grandsons and told them the most important thing they could do in their lifetime was to "make good decisions." He was a quiet but influential spirit on so many.

My extended family on both sides is spread out over many parts of the country. I didn't grow up with them in my daily life, but always knew they were kept in the loop by my parents (as we were about them). My only regret about this is that I wasn't able to know my uncle better than I did--and that I wasn't able to tell him how much I respected him, how much I loved him. He was a part of my family so of course that was a given, but it really means so much more when you say it, when you can actually look someone in the eye and share how you feel with them.

With all we have been through (DH and I) over this past year, and with all we are going to go through in the next few years, I have come to realize how insanely important it is to make it all count. Take it all in, process it, share it, express it, love it, hate it--whatever it is, you have to make it worth it...because you can't take it with you.