Why don't I just write more?

Posts and more posts fly about my brain, and yet come 7PM each evening, all I want to do is veg in front of the TV and turn my brain off. Writing--blogging--processing my emotions is the LAST thing I feel up to these days. It's like my love-hate relationship with exercise. I hate to do it, love how I feel when I've done it, and will do it more once I start doing it--but I really I just hate to do it. But with blogging, I love it, I love doing it and I love how I feel when I'm apart of the blogosphere--but it means I have to deal with the jumble of emotions and thoughts in my head and really, that is the part that I am hating right now. Pardon the stream-of-consciousness flow here...I suppose it's the only way anything will get put down in this space at all.

Tulip is 10 months old today. I can't believe that I will need to start planning for her FIRST BIRTHDAY in like a couple weeks. HOLY COW that went fast. After time had nearly stopped in 2009, we lost 2010 in a few quick blinks. She continues to be amazing--growing like a weed and threatening to take her mobility to the next level probably by her birthday. She is compeletely in 12m. clothes and is in the 90th percentile for height for her age. Her weight is still in the 25th percentile, so it appears we have a supermodel on our hands. The diva has also made an appearance and D-R-A-M-A is this girl's middle name. We can't help but laugh as she turns on and off the waterworks nearly instantaneously. Good news though is that she is still super, super sweet and quite attached to both of us. And she is such a morning baby--there is nothing in this world better than the smile on her face when we get her out of her crib each day. While she is still refusing to crawl on all fours, she gets around quick enough by army/inchworm-ing her way around. And as for solids, she still prefers her purees and being spoon-fed to actually doing any of the work herself. Tooth #4 is about to pop out, and #5 & 6 should likely be just behind it. This probably has something to do with the love of smooshy foods these days. We battled the stomache flu from about 12/23 until New Year's, with every member of the family getting hit. In fact, every family at daycare was sick then too. It was miserable. Now we are fighting some mean diaper rash and there has been a steady stream of snot and drool since late fall, thanks to the teething and to sharing toys at school I would guess. All in all, we are pretty close to completely healthy, and we are very happy as a family. Not a bad way to kick off a new year.

Things with my job are frustrating at best and getting desperate at worst. Let's just say I am currently reading a book called "Winners Never Cheat" in an effort to bolster my confidence--I don't cheat, and I don't break the rules, but the culture of this new company seems to really live in the grey area of business. It makes me feel skeezy and I have been angered by and annoyed at some of the activities of those I don't have a choice but to work with. I have been interviewing and really looking for a way out while staunchly standing my ground with my horrible horrible manager...I just don't know how long I will be able to balance my own personal sense of integrity and pride with the ridiculous and obscene manner with which this company and my boss would have me doing business. Ugh. TGIF, for real.

Next week we will be spending Wednesday at our local Children's Hospital, as Tulip has to have surgery to unblock her tear ducts. If they were going to unblock on their own, they would have by now, and if we don't have the surgery she will be prone to chronic eye infections and it will be harder to treat over time. The procedure is outpatient but she does have to have general anesthesia (worse for us than for her) and our surgeon (a pediatric opthamalogist) is superior in this surgery. We are a tad nervous, but mostly just want her to have a clean bill of health. We must be there very early but should be home by mid-morning and Tulip will have no restrictions--she'll be able to eat, play, sleep normally starting that day. Prayers for the surgeon and for an easy, quick, safe procedure.

Well, I've barely scratched the surface of my thoughts. It's a start anyway. Ta-ta for now.